Prelude: This is my debut to She Said What, which I hope reflects the intelligence and sophistication I hope to convey. I decided that I am going to write in the manner and language in which I think, so while it may not be up there with the quality of writing found in Anna Karenina, It reflects exactly what I want to say and frankly that is all that matters.
What is a hot mess? In my self-appointed professional opinion, the question really has no answer. The concept of the hot mess is like life, it just is, it always has and always will be. I have always been attracted to the hot messes in of our world. Discovering a new hot mess has the same thrill as finding a £20 note on the sidewalk.
A hot mess can be anything from a person, real or fictional (Jessica Simpson, Mallory Archer), to a band (Aqua) to a TV show (Absolutely Fabulous), to a car (Yugo), to an outfit (Jeggings), to an idea (Donald Trump for President). Side note: if there was ever a combination of all of those things I might have a coronary. Hot messes are more than just your average run of the mill train wreck (Charlie Sheen), they have to posses a certain Je ne sais quois that make them compelling and, despite their major flaws, lovable. and that special something is what makes a hot mess just perfect, without it you have nothing more than a Scion.
The concept of the hot mess has been prevalent throughout history. Nobody can argue that Eve wasn’t a little bit of a hot mess, running around naked and listening to a snake, dumb bitch. Another one of history’s hot messes is the whole “Dark Ages”, I mean what genius said “I know, lets forget everything we’ve learned since Greece and revert back to Cro-Magnon living.” Hello! you had INDOOR PLUMBING thats something y’all might want to keep.
The epitome of the concept of the “hot mess” of the last couple of years is without doubt Lindsay Lohan, but that is so obvious even that bitch knows who killed her (her mother, but that’s beside the point). But writing about what a mess Lindsay is is so boring, I much prefer to focus on the hot messes that tend to fly under the radar.
Love Story is a polite way of saying what’s really going on up in here.
One recent example that, in my mind, gets ABSOLUTELY no attention what-so-ever is that Taylor Swift is a big old hot mess. I am so jealous of her, not for the quality or quantity of D that she gets, but for the fact that she gets to fuck her way through Seventeen magazine without anyone raising an eyebrow. People treat her like a Faberge egg, when she should have traffic cones around her lady business, lest anyone fall in.
Lets look at her resume: We start with Joe Jonas, Lucas Till (actor/model, googled it so you don’t have to) Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, Tobey Hemingway (actor/model see above), Corey Monolith (that’s not really his name but I call him that because he is very tall and reminds me of an Easter Island head), Jake Gyllenhaal, Chord Overstreet and now Garret Hedlund (guy from Tron), I’m sure there are many many more.
To me having a track record like this should put you in a category with Miss Hilton or Miss Lohan but because of those dopey songs and the innocent look on her face she is given a free pass. My best friend in high school wrote those same damn crap poems but was not clever enough to sing them. Someone needs to show that girl the safe-sex commercial that explains that when you have sex with someone, you are having sex with everyone they have had sex with. The main problem I have with Taylor Swift is that nobody calls her out on it. I mean JOHN MAYER, he has boned everything within a 10 mile radius of Hollywood.
People are more than happy to throw shade at Christina Aguilera for being over-served a couple of times a week, trading in her Hyundai of an ex-husband for a Maserati, and packing on a good 20, but I think Miss Swift is much MUCH worse. I feel like she sends out the message that its okay to slut it up as long as you don’t get caught, and if someone notices, write a sappy song about it and it’s all better.
Prelude: This is my debut to She Said What, which I hope reflects the intelligence and sophistication I hope to convey. I decided that I am going to write in the manner and language in which I think, so while it may not be up there with the quality of writing found in Anna Karenina, It reflects exactly what I want to say and frankly that is all that matters.
What is a hot mess? In my self-appointed professional opinion, the question really has no answer. The concept of the hot mess is like life, it just is, it always has and always will be. I have always been attracted to the hot messes in of our world. Discovering a new hot mess has the same thrill as finding a £20 note on the sidewalk.
A hot mess can be anything from a person, real or fictional (Jessica Simpson, Mallory Archer), to a band (Aqua) to a TV show (Absolutely Fabulous), to a car (Yugo), to an outfit (Jeggings), to an idea (Donald Trump for President). Side note: if there was ever a combination of all of those things I might have a coronary. Hot messes are more than just your average run of the mill train wreck (Charlie Sheen), they have to posses a certain Je ne sais quois that make them compelling and, despite their major flaws, lovable. and that special something is what makes a hot mess just perfect, without it you have nothing more than a Scion.
The concept of the hot mess has been prevalent throughout history. Nobody can argue that Eve wasn’t a little bit of a hot mess, running around naked and listening to a snake, dumb bitch. Another one of history’s hot messes is the whole “Dark Ages”, I mean what genius said “I know, lets forget everything we’ve learned since Greece and revert back to Cro-Magnon living.” Hello! you had INDOOR PLUMBING thats something y’all might want to keep.
The epitome of the concept of the “hot mess” of the last couple of years is without doubt Lindsay Lohan, but that is so obvious even that bitch knows who killed her (her mother, but that’s beside the point). But writing about what a mess Lindsay is is so boring, I much prefer to focus on the hot messes that tend to fly under the radar.
Love Story is a polite way of saying what’s really going on up in here.
One recent example that, in my mind, gets ABSOLUTELY no attention what-so-ever is that Taylor Swift is a big old hot mess. I am so jealous of her, not for the quality or quantity of D that she gets, but for the fact that she gets to fuck her way through Seventeen magazine without anyone raising an eyebrow. People treat her like a Faberge egg, when she should have traffic cones around her lady business, lest anyone fall in.
Lets look at her resume: We start with Joe Jonas, Lucas Till (actor/model, googled it so you don’t have to) Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, Tobey Hemingway (actor/model see above), Corey Monolith (that’s not really his name but I call him that because he is very tall and reminds me of an Easter Island head), Jake Gyllenhaal, Chord Overstreet and now Garret Hedlund (guy from Tron), I’m sure there are many many more.
To me having a track record like this should put you in a category with Miss Hilton or Miss Lohan but because of those dopey songs and the innocent look on her face she is given a free pass. My best friend in high school wrote those same damn crap poems but was not clever enough to sing them. Someone needs to show that girl the safe-sex commercial that explains that when you have sex with someone, you are having sex with everyone they have had sex with. The main problem I have with Taylor Swift is that nobody calls her out on it. I mean JOHN MAYER, he has boned everything within a 10 mile radius of Hollywood.
People are more than happy to throw shade at Christina Aguilera for being over-served a couple of times a week, trading in her Hyundai of an ex-husband for a Maserati, and packing on a good 20, but I think Miss Swift is much MUCH worse. I feel like she sends out the message that its okay to slut it up as long as you don’t get caught, and if someone notices, write a sappy song about it and it’s all better.